OK, here’s the promised “another story”. (And here’s the first part if you haven’t read yet) Not so long ago, I was going home by subway. I was sad a bit for multiple reasons and to distract from my mirthless thoughts I was playing chess. Here I should notice that in my home city subway is usually full of people and that’s why I almost never take a seat – there’s always a woman with or without children or some older person who needs to sit more than me. So, I was standing opposite the seat row, holding a handrail, and playing chess on my smartphone. At some moment, a young woman entered the carriage and sat down right in front of me. I took a glance at her and managed to notice her beautiful but sad eyes (of course, she was wearing a mask as almost everyone in public transport now, and I’m not the exception). Then, I continued to play my game but the further time passed, the more I noticed some weird thing in my mind. It was like a tiny thought growing and getting stronger with every minute. Words came to me from nowhere, a sort of. Or a someone’s voice which you hear quite weak because it distant for now, so you proceed doing your deeds. But the voice is going louder and at some moment you already can’t ignore it due to it disturbs you and distracts you from your activity. And then you finally have to listen to it and afterward you understand every word. In my case, those words were: “Say to her: ‘You’ll manage the most important thing. Just believe in yourself!’” “What?!” – my first mental response was. Words in my head repeated… Well, you may probably already think that I’m some kind of person who always hears the voices in his head and most of the time wears a white jacket with long sleeves bounded behind his back. That’s not so. Yes, I always have a mental chat with myself but the mentioned above was completely different! Frankly, I’ve never had anything similar before. Therefore, let me keep telling. I frowned and even asked: “How, bloody hell, should I do it? Touch her shoulder and say these more than weird words?” But the answer to all my questions was the same: “Say to her: ‘You’ll manage the most important thing. Just believe in yourself!’” It was like something is boiling inside me. The closer the train went to my station, the stronger it was boiling. Here I should say that I’m quite a shy person and usually don’t...
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I bet you thought seriously about angels at least once in your life. (Of course, if you are a religious person this text is certainly not for you, so it’ll be better for you just to check out my photographs. No offense.) By “seriously” I mean not something like “Angels, yes. They’re God’s helpers on Heaven”. I mean sort of what “angels” could ever mean. Were them, I don’t know, the aliens coming to the ancient people and gave them some technology, or maybe it is kind of a symbol of some higher power, or something else, whatever. I personally get back to this question periodically during my entire conscious life. Naturally, I don’t have a solid answer just because I’m not a preacher or a theologist. I’m a simple thinking person. And I had a small incident 25 years back that I still regard as a little wonder. That wasn’t something supernatural, don’t count on it! 🙂 But it was a piece of help that came unexpectedly but exactly right on time from an absolute stranger. I was 15 or 16 and took part in something in the nature of the city’s field-and-track competition among high school students. I was never good at long-distance running so I haven’t an idea how I got there, perhaps our school just couldn’t find enough good runners for their team and therefore they took even me. That race was especially hard for me. Firstly, because I always was a highly responsible person. Respectively, I was doing my best and even more just not to come last. I managed it but of that, I was getting a problem with my breathing. After I crossed the finish line and was slowing my pace I suddenly started feeling an acute pain in my left side with each exhalation like something inside me is going to explode. So, I instinctively stopped letting air out and took an inhale, and after that tried to exhale one more time. Situation repeated. And one more time. I started to panic. Most of all because I realized that I can’t ask for help and even can’t tell what’s wrong with me. So, I was walking far and far from the main crowd, trying to exhale but the mentioned above was repeating time after time. My lungs were getting bigger and bigger, I was exhaling less and less air feeling the same acute pain, and didn’t know what to do. And when I started feeling that already the inhales bringing me pain, and I really thought that I’m going to die right there, in the city’s park, some old person who...
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I don’t know how about you but as for me, I read many times and heard in many movies that the most important task for a person during his (or her) life is to find a vocation, a mission to complete we come here. That’s some sort of mantra for smart and/or spiritualized humans. I personally spent the first 25 years of my life searching for my soulmate. I found her (or more correct to say, she found me), and what has happened next? Do our lives immediately became wonderful? Definitely yes for the first several months but then reality showed up again in all its ugliness. We both still had to earn money for a living doing work not interesting for us, creative persons. Therefore, I pondered what we were missing. At some moment, I had to admit that love is an undoubtedly essential but insufficient thing to be happy. You also have to find a lifetime deed, your vocation. Somehow or other, we spend most part of our lives at work. And if your work only “slowly kills you”, you won’t be happy even being married to a most wonderful person at all. Obviously, finding your mission in this world is a task that not a bit easier than searching for a soulmate! Also because the goal is not only to find but also to turn this passion into your lifetime deed. Truly, a small amount of people is brave enough to do it. Most of us are just keep it as a hobby. And perhaps it works well for some, I don’t know. But it definitely didn’t work for me. And here we came to the thought in the title. Does life become easy and happy, every problem solves by itself, and we only do what we love with great and endless pleasure when we found our mission and turned it into our work? Well, no. You see, our world nowadays is a place full of problems and people that are more or less creative. And if you think that you only have to do what you love just great, become a master in your sphere, and all the rest will come by itself (money even just to pay your bills, recognition from your colleagues, many fans of your art and so on), you are cruelly mistaken. And I’m sorry about that! Life doesn’t become much easier when you do what you love. No higher power starts to help you on your way just for your brave to be yourself and your exceptional determination to your deed. Nothing makes by itself, money doesn’t start to fall...
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